Trust
by Gardaal
Summary: Trust was supposed to make the Order strong, but the events of OOTP have undermined Harry's trust on everybody else. On the other hand, almost nobody trusts Snape. Can the rift be mended in time? May contain slash. No studentteacher pairings
1. The Spy and his Master

            Disclaimer: Characters and places are the Intellectual Property of Ms Rowling. I'm just borrowing some of them for my own amusement and, hopefully, the amusement of others. No money is made out of this. (…as if somebody would pay)

WARNING:  Contains spoilers from all books and major spoilers for PoA and OOTP. Will possibly contain some slash in future chapters (or not, I don't know yet). Will NOT contain teacher-student romantic pairings. PG-13 to be on the safe side. 

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            **Chapter 1: The Spy and his Master**

            **Hogwarts****School****.  July 10th**

            Albus Dumbledore was patiently sitting on Professor Snape private quarters, waiting for his Potions Master to return from a Death Eater meeting. His outer demeanour was calm, but the famous twinkle was absent from his blue eyes. He was always worried when Severus was summoned, and eagerly awaited his return. Most members of the Order saw Severus as a useful tool, but he genuinely cared for the man. He closed his eyes wearily and didn't open them when he heard a small pop followed by very light steps moving about the room, followed by the chink of plates and glass being set on the table before him. 

            'Headmaster Dumbledore shouldn't worry so, sir. Young Master Severus will return. He always does'.

            Albus opened his eyes and smiled while Mandy, Severus' trusted House Elf fussed with some food and drink for him. 

            'I can't help but worry, Mandy. Sending Severus back to spy has been one of the most painful decisions in my life. Difficult as well, because if Severus was openly in the side of Light he could become a defining force in Slytherin House. Most of his students really look up to him for guidance, and I fear that He would find it much harder to recruit followers if Severus could show plainly that one can be a proud Slytherin and at the same time refuse to follow Him in his path of destruction and madness' 

            Albus sighed and reached for a sweet cake. Mandy usually indulged him in his preference for disgustingly sweet and sugary desserts, and had even created some recipes for him. He looked at the old Elf fondly. He was sure that having Mandy bring him up had been Severus' saving grace. Not enough to steer him out of trouble, there was too much pain and anger for that, but enough to make sure that when the young Slytherin realised that joining Voldemort and his Death Eaters meant the recognition and approval he craved, the knowledge he sought, and the chance for revenge he desired, all at the price of becoming a heartless murderer and torturer, Severus found himself so repulsed that after a couple of months he had started to leak information anonymously to the Headmaster. Some time after that, when Severus Snape had gathered an impressive file on Death Eater names, meeting places and plans, he had come in person to the Headmaster's office and placed the documents over the table. It had been one of the very first breaks for the side of the Light, and a real mine of useful information.  Why to him? He still wasn't sure. He hadn't done a thing to prevent the bullying the boy had suffered at school. Damn, he hadn't cared enough to notice how it was getting out of hand, and after the Shrieking Shack incident he had been so concerned about Remus' safety and about to secure for the side of light the first member of the Black family to renounce the Dark Arts, that he had only given the most cursory of thoughts to Severus' well being. Slytherins looked after themselves, didn't they? 

            'Harry shouldn't be so shocked to find out that I'm fallible. After all, I've messed up some young lives before', thought Albus. 

            When asked about his reasons to choose him as his runner, Severus had simply stated that he thought the ministry was full of incompetents or worse, that the Aurors would have been more willing to catch and punish the small fish instead of using him as bait, and that the only person he could think of with the brains and the ruthlessness to actually allow a Death Eater to continue his heinous acts because at the same time he was providing information that could prevent worse deeds was the Headmaster of Hogwarts. 

            Albus musings were interrupted when he noticed the wards of Severus' quarters being lowered. After a few moments, he turned to see his Potions Master stepping through the door and raising again the complex wards he protected his personal space with. Those were much, much harder to break than the ones he used for his office. The ones in his office were tough, but not enough to stop Barty Crouch, or even a determined student. The wards on his personal rooms wouldn't stop Albus Dumbledore, but even the Headmaster would have had to put an effort if Severus hadn't given him all the passwords and explained all the subtleties beforehand.             

            Before he could say a thing Mandy reappeared in the room, bringing a few vials. She looked over at Severus, decided that he was more or less alright, set the potions at the table and simply asked

            'Master Severus wants coffee or something stronger?'

            Snape smiled at the House Elf and asked for a bottle of good brandy and two glasses. 'Leave the headache potion on the table and take away all the rest. I don't need anything else tonight, Mandy'

            Mandy bowed and popped out. She reappeared after a few seconds with a bottle and two beautifully cut crystal glasses in a tray. She laid the things at the table and with a short bow to both men popped out of the room again. 

            Albus could hardly stifle a small laugh. If the students realised that Professor Snape actually trusted a House Elf with his own personal stores of potions, they would have a fit. 

            'It seems that the meeting didn't go too badly tonight, Severus'

            'Define too badly, Albus', came the dry reply. 'Not too badly for myself, because He doesn't see me as part of the disaster of the Department of Mysteries. Potter actually went there, as was intended, and He thinks that I helped in that. A notion I carefully cultivate, of course. By the way, I'm trying to give the impression that I'm working in undermining the boy's trust in you. Not very hard to do, the way he seems to act with such Potterish recklessness. I have given him the information that Potter went berserk in your office and He was delighted to hear of it. He is more than a little worried at your display against Him. The fact that you wouldn't even try to kill Him makes Him doubt. Doubt about his own powers, and doubt about the plans you have for Potter'.

            'Which brings me to the most important piece of information I have gathered: The Dark Lord is impressed with Potter, and I fear He is starting to view the boy not as a plaything to revenge upon, but as a real threat to his plans. He will try to move again against the boy and do it soon. Now that he is half trained and has only luck and courage on his side is the time to strike again. Of course', he added with bitterness, 'the way Potter goes on he will be half trained all his life and will keep on trusting his luck and be as foolish about all this as his father was' 

            'Now, now Severus', Albus interrupted, 'do not bring James into this. Harry is most definitely NOT his father. There is more than a streak of his mother in him, and he wouldn't make many of James' mistakes'

            'He has the arrogance, the stubbornness, the refusal to accept anything but his own views on anything, the idea that just luck and courage will see him through everything…'

            Albus thought privately that many of those faults could apply to Severus himself, but he let the younger man rant on for a few minutes before cutting him short. 

            'Enough', the Headmaster said sharply. 'Mr Potter failure to learn Occlumency is in part his own doing, but you don't stand blameless in this matter. You can't antagonise the boy at every step and afterwards expect him to put those feelings aside. He is only fifteen, for god's sake. He should know better, of course, but so should you. Kicking him out of your office was not the most mature and wise thing you have done, and you know it'

            Severus Snape felt his cheeks burning with anger and shame.

            'If the blasted boy had put a single ounce of effort into his lessons, we would have got somewhere. The boy has strength and potential. He even kicked back once and broke into my mind, but he didn't even try the exercises I told him to do every night. Of course he said he was doing it, but he couldn't deceive me. I've been teaching for a few years now, and I can say when a student is lying to me. His lack of progress was painfully obvious, and you know Occlumency cannot be mastered without effort and dedication'. 

            'But Severus, his lack of progress was not the reason why you discontinued the lessons, was it?' Albus knew he was treading dangerous ground, but he was determined to do his best to keep the breach that threatened the unity of the Order from growing too wide. If he had to reopen some of Severus Snape's very old wounds to do it, he would. After all, the only way to deal with wounds that had closed while still infected was to reopen them and hope to clean them better this time. 

            Severus Snape's face was flushing an ugly deep red. He downed the contents of the anti-headache potion in one gulp and angrily filled both glasses with brandy. His hands shook badly and some of the precious drink spilled on the table. 

            'He is an insufferable, obnoxious, treacherous brat and deserved no less'

            Albus remained silent. He took a sip of the ancient brandy.

            The silence grew uncomfortably long. Severus knew he wasn't going to be left off the hook any time soon, but found very difficult to put his feelings into words. Mercifully, the headache had vanished thanks to the potion, and not even this most unpleasant conversation was enough to overcome one of his better creations. 

            Severus sighed. He should know better than to try to stall in the Headmaster's presence. Albus Dumbledore had the patience and toughness of rock. 

            'He broke into my pensieve when I had to leave the office for a few minutes to attend some mishap concerning one of my Slytherins. I left him alone and he had the cheek to take a look into the pensieve you lent me. He witnessed some scenes I'd rather not mention and I got beside myself. The brat knows no boundaries, no respect, nothing', Severus was shouting now. In his anger he was recalling the jeers, the taunts, the time when the Headmaster proved every day that he couldn't care less about what happened to the ugly little Slytherin outsider. YOU requested that he should be kept away from seeing how nice and wonderful his father and his sidekicks were, that he should be protected from that, and what did wonderful Mr Potter do when he had half a chance? Of course, break into them. Entering someone else's pensieve isn't a light matter, Albus. It is a very serious offence and shows a major lack of respect. Anyway, I don't know why you were so concerned. I'm sure he lost no time into telling all his friends how pathetic Snivellus was and toasting his father's pranks with Black and the werewolf'

            Albus realised that things were bad. The breach was already wider than he imagined. He had to work fast to close it as soon as he could. 

            'Severus', he said softly, 'I understand your distress, and I agree that Harry should have never looked into your pensieve. He is quite reckless and maybe something should be done to curb his impulsive nature'. The man before him snorted, but before he could launch another tirade against the boy Albus went on. 'But I don't think he has a cruel nature. It is not his way to laugh at others, or to mock them. Nothing has reached my ears about this, and I'm sure that if Harry had spoken to any of the Weasleys about this I would have heard. He was certainly angry with both of us in my office, but never once did he mention anything about your past'.

            'Angry with me?' Interrupted Severus. 'Whatever for? I did my best to find out whether the mutt was safe. It is not my fault if the boy was led by Umbridge to the forest…'

            Albus slammed his hand on the table, drawing out a surprised yelp from the Potions Master. 'Sirius Black, whatever he did to you, was a valued member of the Order of the Phoenix, and I won't accept your calling him such names in my presence. The man died trying to protect his godson from Voldemort, and his fall is a grievous loss'.

            Snape looked mutinous, but wisely remained silent.

            'And', continued Dumbledore in a somewhat kinder tone, 'when he had the foolish idea of calling you Snivellus in front of me a few months ago I told him off much the same way'.

            A long silence ensued, this time somewhat more comfortable. Albus wished he could stop this game of carrot and stick with almost all the members of the Order. Of the lot, only Tonks, Lupin and at times Bill Weasley seemed to take Severus' moods more or less in their stride, and kept from voicing their doubts about where his real loyalties lay. Albus didn't know what irked him more: the stubbornness of Moody, most of the Weasley clan and the departed Black to accept his word or their belief that Albus Dumbledore would trust a known Death Eater without incontrovertible proof of the sincerity of his wish to change sides. He was not only one of the better adepts at Legilimency alive, he knew enough about potions to use well any number of truth serums. He no longer found it necessary, but Severus Snape was no stranger to the effects of Veritaserum, something the young Snape had taken almost for granted saying that if Dumbledore had simply trusted his words without question he would have had to revise his opinions of the Headmaster's brains. 

            After a few moments, Severus spoke again, his voice not completely under control yet.

            'I apologise, Albus. I… seem to be unable to keep calm when any of _them_ is mentioned. But when I spoke of Potter's lack of effort I wasn't just being objectionable. And his recklessness isn't a product of my imagination. A trait, I might add, that you have encouraged in the past.'

            Albus smiled sadly. 'You might very well be right, but Harry faces a task that requires a great deal of courage and resourcefulness, I have tried to encourage those. But I agree on one thing: Harry must realise that he needs to improve his training in aspects other than duelling, something not even you can deny he excels at'.

            Severus shifted in his seat, and Albus looked at him expectantly.

            After taking a long pull at his drink, the spy started talking. 'I don't know how to put this without sounding like I'm trying to get the boy into trouble, but it must be said: at the meeting, Bellatrix Lestrange claimed that Potter tried _Cruciatus on her. The attempt was a failure, or better, not a complete success. Are you aware of this? The Dark Lord was so glad that he stopped punishing Bellatrix almost at once. I can't get confirmation from other sources, because it seems that the boy was facing her alone', a small tinge of admiration was in Severus' voice, 'but it worries me. It didn't sound like she was making it up'._

            Albus Dumbledore was shocked to the core. Harry had actually tried one of the Unforgivables, and with some degree of success?  

            'It must have been right after she sent Sirius through the veil. I can't even begin to understand how the boy felt, after having his Godfather ripped away from him before his very eyes. But it is worrying news if it is right. You _really_ think Lestrange was being truthful?'

            'It might be that she was fishing about for something to appease His wrath, but Bellatrix is completely devoted to her Master, and I doubt she would lie in a matter of such importance. Cruciatus has never been enough to make the smallest dent into her devotion, and I don't think that is going to happen now. The long years in Azkaban have only increased her madness and her absolute loyalty to her Lord. If you lend me your pensieve, I shall show you'.

            The Headmaster sighed: 'I don't think it is necessary. You know her much better than I do, and if you are convinced that's enough for me. I will contact Remus Lupin and ask him if he knows anything about this. I know you must be tired, but I need to have a full report of anything else that happened first thing in the morning'.

            Severus snapped his fingers, and Mandy appeared into the room bowing low.

            'Bring me some light food, Mandy, and please light the fire'. 'Albus, there is a blessed absence of students at the castle. I don't mind late hours if I can sleep over in the morning, please finish your drink here, unless you would like to eat something as well?'

            'Thank you, son, but I've had dinner, and Mandy was stuffing me with some of her delicacies before. I have much to think about right now. I won't refuse your wonderful bradny, though'. Albus served himself another time. 'Mmmm, Severus. This is really good'.

            Saverus laughed lightly. 'I must confess that muggles have their uses, and their alcohol far surpases anything we've got' 

            They finished their drinks in a companionable silence. Not long afterwards Albus got up and retired, wishing Severus a good night. He answered in kind and went up to his desk where he found parchment and quill set ready, a plate of sandwiches and a jar filled with cold water. Mandy was truly invaluable. He sat down, ate a sandwich in two hungry bites and set out to write. He had a long report to finish tonight.   


	2. Birthday Resolutions

Disclaimer: Characters and places are the Intellectual Property of Ms Rowling. I'm just borrowing some of them for my own amusement and, hopefully, the amusement of others. No money is made out of this. (…as if somebody would pay)

WARNING:  Contains spoilers from all books and major spoilers for PoA and OOTP. Will possibly contain some slash in future chapters (or not, I don't know yet). Will NOT contain teacher-student romantic pairings. PG-13 to be on the safe side. 

NOTE: this was originally posted as chapter one. For reasons of internal timing of the story, and not to confuse people, this has become chapter two. The new chapter is actually number one. 

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            **Chapter 2: Birthday Resolutions**

**            Number 4, **Privet Drive******.**** July 31**

            In the eve of his 16th birthday, Harry Potter was feeling so despondent that not even the owls bringing his presents were enough to cheer him up. He had sent them all back to their owners with perfunctory 'thank you very much, I loved it' letters. Lupin, Hermione, Ron, the Weasley twins, Mr and Mrs Weasleys… even Tonks had sent him something. What they had sent he didn't know, because the pile of parcels lay unopened at his desk. 

            He was missing the only one that _really mattered to him, and somehow the fact that Sirius wasn't sending him anything made his loses so real, that for the first time in the summer he found himself reviewing what had happened at the Department of Mysteries and the chain of events that lead there. Of course he had been reliving the fight at the Ministry almost every night, but those dreams only had made him angrier and angrier. At Dumbledore, for not telling him the truth from the beginning; at Umbridge for having kept him in her office and delaying everything; at Lupin, Tonks and the rest for having been there and not preventing Sirius' death; at himself for allowing Voldemort to deceive him and of course at Snape, for being so unpleasantly himself, for goading Sirius and for hating all things Potter. In his worse moments he felt angry at Ron and Hermione for having good families that loved them and for not bearing the burden of a prophecy that either made him a killer or a corpse. But tonight it was different. For the first time he would try to think about all that in a rational manner. He owed it to Sirius. He could not let all his sadness and anger bring him down, at least not before he had brought down Voldemort himself. Sirius would have hated seeing James' son feeling sorry for himself instead of trying to do something. Had he heard Sirius whinnying at his lost life in Azkaban? No. He came out and despite everything he _fought_. And so would Harry Potter. _

            But the problem was how? He was locked in Privet Drive, a place he hated even though the Dursleys now basically left him alone. The threats issued by the Order at the beginning of the summer had made effect. Of course, thought Harry, anybody who meets Alastor Moody thinks twice about crossing him, so they left Harry to his own devices, which consisted in reading his school books, doing some of his homework (not Potions, though), and moping. There was nothing else he could do as he was not allowed the use of his wand and that meant he could not practice charms, hexes, curses and all those things that were really necessary for his fight and had to content himself with writing some silly essay on Potions, Herbology or something equally useless. Sighing in frustration, Harry went to look out of the window. It was getting dark, and though the summer evening was pleasant there was nobody in the streets as far as he could see. There was nothing useful he could do, and that was the worst feeling of all. 

            He felt one of his angry moods coming again and the only thing he could think of to avoid it was opening the presents. If this doesn't get me into a better mood I'm lost, thought Harry. 

            First he got Ron's: some sweets (how predictable) and a small device he had never seen before. Opening the letter he found out that it was the magical equivalent of a CD player: 'Owan's Portable Music Box' It had several songs stored, and Harry began to listen. He would figure out later how you could store the music you liked and things like that. He felt his mood lightening and grabbed the next package. Tonks had sent him a wand holster: plain and simple but it kept wands from falling from your pockets at the worst possible time. His mood was improving very fast, and he got the next one: the twins. He opened it up very carefully, feeling a mixture of excitement and dread at whatever idea those two dangers on legs might have come up with. It turned out to be a selection from their own 'best and bestest': A pair of Extendable Ears, an experimental Extendable Finger, a box labelled 'Faulty Potion Calmer' (which was some dust you dropped into the cauldron when things were going wrong. It _usually_ kept the mess from exploding. Harry didn't want to think what could happen the rest of the times) and Personal Glue (it was an extra-strength glue with a password. If you said the password, the glue dissolved and became inert again). His mood was getting so better that it could almost be described as good, considering. Ok, Harry thought, next the Weasley Parents: they had given him a book called 'Great Tales of Wizardry in Britain'. Maybe he could learn some History of Magic without falling asleep on the book. Next came Hermione's, and Harry felt his mood plummeting again. A BOOK OF OCCLUMENCY!!?!!? How DARED she? He flung the book hard against a wall, as all the bitter memories from his lessons with Snape crashed down on him. The sneering, the insults and above all, the Pensieve Incident and all the hurt it brought up. How dared Hermione to remind him of the Greasy Git? How could she be so insensitive? Harry felt tears welling up. She was supposed to be his friend, and all she did was poke and hurt him in places he wanted left untouched. He got up shaking badly and turned to go to bed, all his good feelings vanished. As he started to undress he caught sight of the last package: Lupin's. He debated with himself whether to open it or not. His mood for the night was ruined, and Remus Lupin had a way for getting under his skin. At last he decided to open it and out of the box came a delicate set of two pendants, each wrought in the form of a golden lion set with small red stones. 

            _'Dear Harry_

_            Rummaging through my house I found these forgotten inside a cupboard. Sirius must have left them the last time he came. They were to be a present from Sirius and myself to your parents. We wanted to give them to James and Lily as soon as they could came out of hiding. I thought Sirius had taken them, but after he returned I never thought of asking him. I want you to keep them, as a reminder of your parent's bravery and love for each other. _

_            Take good care of yourself. I know this summer must be the hardest of your life. I would love to go and visit you often, but the Order is afraid that the Ministry would try to use the presence of a werewolf on the house as leverage against you, Dumbledore or the Order itself. I hate it, but they are right. Fudge is a blasted idiot more interested in undermining Dumbledore's authority than in putting up a real fight against Voldemort. As for the rest, business at the Order is pretty much waiting and trying to discover and foil as many plots of the Death Eaters as we can. We are still too few, though we are getting some trustworthy new people. _

_            You are not alone in missing Sirius, Harry. Do not be afraid of sharing your feelings with me if you wish. I won't tell anybody. _

_            Happy Birthday_

_                        Remus'_

            This time the tears fell for real. Harry picked up the small lions and cried freely. Snape's damned pensieve had left a stain in the beautiful image he had from his parents. He wanted to think of his parents as the good, honourable and devoted couple everybody said they were, and to see his mother-to-be yelling at his father-to-be because he was being a bully made him gag. Those two little lions were a symbol of what he always had believed about his parents. Why, oh why did he have to stick his nose into Snape's private thoughts? He should have known that nothing good could come out of his greasy head, but curiosity had got the better of him, as usual. Harry began to feel sick again as he relived that dreadful evening. He couldn't get out of his head that Sirius death began that day. As he sat on the floor, cradling the small lions to his chest, he remembered that he had decided to think rationally about all the events of the past year. His parents' sacrifice demanded that he, Harry Potter took the bull by the horns. 

            Or better, he thought rather grimly, tackle the snake by the fangs. Snape. Slytherin bastardness personified was in the middle of all his troubles. He started writing down what he knew about the greasy bastard.

             _Fact one: he was marked as a Death Eater, so at some point of his life he must have been a loyal follower of Voldemort. _

_            Fact two: he is a spy now working for Dumbledore. Or so Dumbledore thinks. When did he turn? At the trial he witnessed in Dumbledore's pensieve, it was mentioned that Snape had already been working against Voldemort before his first downfall. Harry made a quick calculation that left him shocked: either Snape had been marked while at Hogwarts (something he couldn't believe) or had been a loyal Death Eater for one? two years at maximum? And had turned at about twenty years old. Or younger. A treacherous voice inside Harry's head said 'not much older than yourself or Malfoy'._

            _Fact three: He hated The Marauders and, Harry thought bitterly, not without reason. He called his mother a Mudblood (no excuse for that). He hates me. No reason for that, at least not a reasonable reason. I haven't done anything to him but hate him back. And he started it._

_             Fact four: he has saved my life. And …_

            Harry's hand started to tremble. He could live owing his life to Snape, even though he had never given thought to the fact that he owed the Slytherin a life debt just like the one Snape owed his father. That was not the problem. But everyone on the Order agreed on one thing, and that was simply staggering. He gathered his courage and wrote on

            _… he seems to really have done his best to keep Sirius from getting into big trouble. Goad him mercilessly? Yes, but Sirius gave as good as he got. But if Snape had really tried to find out whether Sirius was Ok and tried to find me afterwards… _

            Harry went on musing about the relationship between his beloved Godfather and his hated Professor, and found it more and more puzzling. Snape had been quite willing to send Sirius to the Dementors back in third year, and he was sure that Snape wasn't   grieving at all over Sirius fall, but he seemed to be able to put his feelings behind when it came to the real business of making sure a member of the Order of the Phoenix stayed alive. He would make endless snide comments about it, but do it. Harry found himself banging his head on the table for the umpteenth time. If he had been able to actually _think_ of Snape as 'one of us' he wouldn't have got into that mess with Umbridge. What would the greasy git have done? It seemed that the painful answer was that Snape would have made an insulting speech AND try to find out if Sirius was safe. Damn and blast. Couldn't the man be thoroughly evil? How could somebody so unpleasant, ugly, prejudiced and nasty NOT have the decency of being one of the bad guys?

            Harry was running out of facts, so he started with the questions, which boiled down to two: 

            _Is he really working for the Order of the __Phoenix__ or is he doing a superb double act? And if the answer to question one was that he was really a spy for Dumbledore, why did he turn from the Death Eaters? Was it fear? But back then Voldemort seemed to be winning. All his friends (do Death Eaters actually have friends?) are on the other side, and everybody in the side of Light save Dumbledore hates him. Like Wormtail, but the other way round. Wormtail wanted power. What did Snape want?  _

            Thinking about Snape was giving Harry a bad headache and he felt he was getting nowhere. He got up from the desk and went over again to the window. Night had fallen completely and there was an almost unearthly feeling of calm in the air. As he stood gazing outside his feelings of restlessness and frustration began to rise again. 

            He almost could hear Snape's voice sneering at him _'Of course, the Golden Gryffindor Hero_ _thinks that the only worthy thing to do is rush about madly wand in hand'_

            He was about to get into a heated argument with the little voice inside his head when he remembered Hermione's book. His lessons in Occlumency had gone so badly that he hated to be reminded of them, but he grudgingly had to concede that   'Mione, as usual, was making some sense. Maybe without Snape's jeers he could learn something about it, enough to make a head start. _'The head start you would have got last year if you had put the slightest bit of effort'. Harry was beginning to hate the little voice. _

            Harry turned from the window and picked up the book. It was called 'Basic Occlumency Techniques: A Guide for the Beginner'. He flopped on the bed and started reading. After an historical introduction, the first chapter was about the most basic aspect for the Occlumens in training: learning to clear your mind. A couple of hours latter he was still awake, reading. It seemed that Occlumency was very difficult to learn alone, though not impossible, and your best bet was to find a good trustworthy teacher. Great, thought Harry, what do I do now?


	3. The First Meeting of the Summer

            **For disclaimers and warnings, see chapter 1**

            **Many thanks to all the reviewers. Hope you enjoy the rest**

            **Chapter 3: The First Meeting of the Summer**

**12 Grimmauld Place****. July 31st**

The old house at Grimmauld Place had become a silent place of mourning. Even the painting of old Mrs Black was utterly quiet. For all her hatred of her son while he was alive, the realization that the Black line had come to an end with Sirius untimely death had shocked her into silence. 

            Most members of the Order had been very busy since the end of the school year and this was going to be the first full meeting of the summer. Some, like Tonks, were just recovered from the battle at the Department of Mysteries. Remus Lupin had been sent to track some werewolves he knew, to try and see whether Voldemort was trying to recruit them for his side. Alastor Moody had tried to wheedle the Ministry into recognizing that Sirius Black was innocent, but had had to desist when he realized that not only it was a lost cause, but that the Headquarters of the Order would be inherited by none other than Narcissa Malfoy so, officially, Sirius Black was still a convicted murderer on the run. Fudge had lost a lot of prestige when the return of Voldemort became public knowledge, and he wasn't about to recognise their mistake in sending Sirius to Azkaban. Besides, all the public opinion that had regarded  Dumbledore with mistrust last year were now saying loudly that everybody knew that the old Headmaster of Hogwarts had been right all along, and that he should be recognised again as the spiritual leader of Britain's wizards and witches. All this made Fudge so uneasy that he seemed more interested in asserting his position than in doing anything to root out the Death Eaters while there was still time. The Weasley clan had been heavily involved in research, gathering of information and trying to bring Percy back to the fold, with less success than they initially expected. Many of the rest were assigned to keep watch on the house at Privet Drive, and to ascertain whether the Dursleys were treating Harry better. In short: dull, dreary but necessary work. 

            The meeting had been scheduled to start shortly after lunch, and the various members of the Order greeted each other weary and sad. Sirius had left a big gaping hole in them that made itself felt all the more in this dark house. 

            Last to arrive were Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape and two new members of the order: Andromeda Stirling, a lawyer and historian, who had spent most of her life trying to get convictions for Death Eaters and Alexander Trivchikt, a powerful healer. Most members of the Order knew Andromeda, at least by name, but only Remus Lupin had ever heard of Trivchikt, and wasn't looking forward to his arrival at all. 

            'Remus', had asked Molly Weasley after lunch, 'you seemed to be very happy that we would have a healer in the Order. You said that it was very good to be able to have medical assistance without resorting to St Mungo's, and Albus has told us that this man Trischi, or whatever his name is, is one of those few who can heal internal wounds without a wand at all. Why are you so worried? Do you know him?'

            Remus stared thoughtfully at his bottle of butterbeer. 'No, I've never met him', he answered slowly, 'and as far as I know the man has done no wrong. I'm afraid he won't appreciate my company'

            'Come on, Remus', said Charlie Weasley. 'You are easily the kindest member of the Order. Why should anybody dislike you? Because you are a werewolf? No worries there. People fear what they don't know and we'll set him right if he says anything stupid'

            'You shouldn't dismiss people's fears like that, Charlie. After all, a werewolf is a rather dangerous creature, you know'

            'Hey Remus', said Fred, 'most people aren't as dumb as Snape'

            'Who has problems with everybody' continued George

            'Werewolf or not', went on Fred, 'we all know you would never hurt a fly'

            'If he ever gives you a wrong look', finished George, 'we'll tell him off, just as Charlie said'

            Remus gave a little humourless laugh. 'He won't give me any kind of look. He won't give anybody looks at all. Trivchikt was born blind because of a werewolf attack on his mother'

            Before anybody could recover, the door opened and four people walked into the room. 

            The first person to enter the room was Andromeda Stirling. She was a middle aged witch, whose looks would be called plain but for her piercing violet eyes. Her unblinking cold stare had been the undoing of many a witness in the box, but there was nothing but mild interest in her eyes now as he surveyed the people in the room. She made it to the closest empty space at the table murmuring 'Good Afternoon'. Behind her came two dark men. Professor Severus Snape surveyed the room, scowling at everybody and beside him another tall man, dressed in muggle clothing and wearing dark glasses. Snape grunted what might have been some kind of greeting and Trivchikt said 'Good Afternoon' in a much more polite fashion. He had a beautiful light tenor voice and seemed to be smiling at some little private joke. Last of all came Albus Dumbledore, in full twinkle mode, giving loud 'Good Afternoons' right and left. 

            'Well, my friends', said Dumbledore as soon as everybody was seated. 'I want to introduce our two latest full-time members of the Order. Most of you will know Andromeda Stirling. Her position as an influential lawyer will be most useful to us, especially with the impending trial of Lucius Malfoy'. Ms Stirling gave a short nod of acknowledgement, and smiled slightly. 'She is a more than welcome addition to our group as is also Alexander Trivchikt, a powerful healer trained in many medical disciplines both muggle and magical. I would like now to introduce all of you to them. If you could all say your names, Alexander will start getting used to your voices'.

            He waited for a few seconds until Bill said 'William Weasley. Call me Bill please', the round went on, until all but Remus Lupin had spoken. A small pause followed while everybody looked at the squirming werewolf. Severus Snape lifted his head to say something nasty but shut up after catching the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore looking at him very sternly. At last Remus snapped out of his stupor and said rather loudly 'Remus Lupin, resident werewolf of the Order of the Phoenix'. 

            A stunned silence followed Remus words. All eyes turned to Trivchikt, who simply said 'Thank you. I think I can recognise all your voices.  Afterwards I would like all of you to give me information about any medical condition you might have. It is better if I know beforehand so I don't get nasty surprises if I have to patch somebody up'. 

            'Well', said Albus trying to capture everybody's attention, 'now to business. Andromeda, please, could you inform us on the outlooks of Malfoy Senior trial?'

            Tonks interrupted just as Andromeda was about to start. 'But I would think that the outcome of the trial is assured? He was caught red-handed!!!!?'

            Snape snorted and said under his breath something that sounded like 'As if that had mattered before'.

            'He wouldn't be the first known Death Eater to walk around freely', growled Alastor Moody looking pointedly at Snape. 'We all know at least one'.

            Just as Severus was rising to start a shouting match with Moody, Albus raised his voice. 'Do sit down Severus. And stop muttering, please. Alastor, I have made it clear before that Severus deserves our unconditional trust, so stop this nonsense right now'. Both Auror and former Death Eater shut up, shooting daggers at each other. 'Please, Andromeda'

            Andromeda Stirling wasn't completely surprised by the angry outburst, but nonetheless thought both men were acting worse than she expected. 'I think that the outcome of the trial _is_ assured, but we must not let our guard down and become complacent. Lucius Malfoy has burned all the respectability he might have had in the eyes of most of the community, but we shouldn't forget that there are many people in high places that support Volde… You-Know-Who. Others might try to play both sides and petition for a partial conviction or god forbid, parole. Not completely innocent, not fully guilty, you understand'. She looked around the table to see many faces staring at her in shock. Snape rolled his eyes, wondering if the people around the table had the slightest grasp on politics and power plays and caught Moody's eyes as he did exactly the same. For the first time, both veterans looked at each other finding common ground, and were so shocked that immediately glared at each other to cover their confusion. Albus smiled slightly at this exchange and was rewarded with two almost identical scowls. He beamed at his two trusted friends and subjected them to a full eye twinkle that made the two not-completely-enemies blush and mutter under their breath. 

            'So our best bet', continued Andromeda 'is to prepare the strongest case we can. That will mean bringing some of you to act as witnesses. As the one who received the worst injuries under the attack, I suggest that Miss Tonks should press for charges, so that I'm allowed at the trial as her attorney, This way I will be allowed to call witnesses and interrogate those the defence might present'.

            Everybody looked at Tonks, whose hair turned a bright pink. 'Of course I will, if you really think it is necessary…'

            At this Severus Snape lost his thin grasp on patience. 'Of course it _is necessary. You might remember that the late Sirius Black', Snape almost spat the name, 'was hauled straight to Azkaban without trial, and with far less proof. The fact that Malfoy has a trial is a small victory for him. We must make this small victory useless'. _

            Moody felt that he should defend her young protégée. Though he privately thought that Snape was right, he wasn't about to say it aloud. 

            'Dear me, Snape. And I thought Malfoy was your friend'

            'He was, and in some sense still is. I might be very well called as witness for the defence', said Snape uneasily.

            'And you will hurry up to defend his character, of course', sneered Moody.

            'Severus will act according to what's best for the Order', Dumbledore said in a soft but very firm voice. 'As he always does. If you are called, you will of course defend Malfoy's character, while appearing to be extremely distressed and unbelieving that such charges might apply. You will have to be subtle, but then you usually are'. 

            Severus relaxed minutely, as he always did when the Headmaster defended him in public, but tensed again when Moody started speaking again. 'You are truly a good friend to your friends. We are in such good hands…'

            The spy had to call upon all his sarcastic resources to come up with a fitting answer. 'In that case nobody here should worry. After all, you are most definitely _not_ my friends'

            Moody stared at him, Molly and Arthur Weasley looked angry, but the twins could scarcely repress a giggle. Trivchikt gave a short bark of laughter. 'Got you there, Moody. No, don't waste your glare on me. I can't see it, you know'. Moody, who was glaring at the healer was caught off-balance for the second time in as many minutes, and could only come up with a growl that sounded like 'Very funny'. 

            Albus clapped his hands to get everybody's attention. 'After this lively exchange of opinions, I would like to go on. Andromeda will gather those of you she thinks best and start planning the strategy. Now, Severus, what do you think are the chances that the Death Eaters will try to rescue Lucius?'

            Snape, who had been privately gloating at this small victory over the Auror was startled by the question, but recovered gracefully. 'Not many, I would think. I have certainly not heard mention of any plans. The Dark Lord does not take failure lightly. Those who fall short of His expectations find quick and painful retribution. He has more or less forgiven those who abandoned Him after His first downfall, but only as long as they prove useful. Malfoy's connections and influence are almost completely burned now, and He has Narcissa completely under His thumb, so He still has access to the Malfoy fortune. Of course, some Death Eaters are indebted to Lucius. They could try to rescue him, and if they succeeded their efforts would be greatly rewarded'. 

            'And being yourself a friend of Lucius, wouldn't you be included in such a plan? Asked Bill.

            'Usually yes, but I have found myself in the Dark Lord's good graces lately. They might consider it a risk to confide in me plans that have not His full approval'

            'Severus, try to find out more about this. Are you expecting another call before the trial?'

            'I don't know. He is extremely paranoid about the meetings and we never know the when or where before. But of course I can pay a social visit to one of my _friends and discuss the matter of Lucius' trial. I would be expected to, anyway'._

            'Very well Severus. I have your full report here and I can carry on from here, unless somebody has another question for him?'

            Everybody looked like they would like to ask a million questions, but none dared to ask the scowling man any personal ones, so no one spoke.

            'In that case…' the dark man rose. He gave a small bow to Dumbledore, sneered at everybody else, and with a light touch on Trivchikt shoulder he said 'we could meet tomorrow at lunchtime. I have potions to attend to that will keep me up until very late tonight'. He strode out of the room, robes willowing and closed the door softly behind him. 

            'Is there any particular reason why he is leaving right now?' asked Andromeda.

            Dumbledore looked sad. 'For our own safety. In case he should be found out, there is very little chance that he would be able to hold for long, and Voldemort has means to extract every bit of information from him. The less he knows, the better'.

            'Shouldn't he carry means to kill himself quickly if that comes to pass?' asked Trivchikt.

            'He does. He always does' answered Dumbledore. 'But if he wasn't able to act fast enough…' He left the words unsaid, and most people in the room shifted uneasily. It was one thing to hear Snape claim that he risked his life for the Order, and quite another to hear such words spoken by the Headmaster so softly. 

            The meeting went on. Lupin told them about his findings in reference to the werewolf community. 'It is very much split. Those who wish to be a part of our society are unlikely to join him, as it is well known that he considers werewolves at best like wild dangerous animals to make use of' Remus kept stealing glances towards Trivchikt, but the healer seemed to be lost in a world of his own, 'others might see potential gains in serving such a master. A few would be delighted join. In short: werewolves as a group aren't particularly keen, but individually I'm sure some will follow'. 

            'Thank you Remus. Try to keep in touch with as many as you can.'

            Lupin nodded, and sat back. 

            'Now we must touch a matter of great importance. Severus thinks that Harry might be under attack again sooner that we expected'.

            Molly Weasley looked very worried. 'But surely he is safe at the house of those horrid relatives of his. That was supposed to be the whole point of keeping him there, wasn't it?'

            'Safe from physical attacks yes, he is. Voldemort can't touch him while he is there, but there are other ways, as was proved last year. We can't ignore that Harry must be under a great deal of stress, and this leaves him vulnerable'.

            As if on cue, they heard a light tapping on the window. Bill opened it and three owls flew into the room. One went to Lupin, another to Tonks, and the last one settled in front of Arthur Weasley.  They knew the owls were returning from taking Harry's presents and they all opened eagerly the letter attached to the owls' legs. A minute of shocked silence was broken only by Arthur passing the letter to his wife, while Bill, Charlie and the twins crowded over her shoulder to read. Molly and Tonks handed their letters to the Headmaster, and he read the bleak answer Harry had written. 'Remus', he said, 'is your thank you letter like these?'

            Remus Lupin looked like he was going to cry. 'Nothing. It says nothing'.

            Albus Dumbledore looked around the room, meeting the hollow looking eyes of Harry's surrogate family. 'This settles it. We shall bring Harry here as soon as we can arrange it. And we start arranging it right now. Alastor, I want you to take care of security. Tonks, Bill and Charlie will go with you. Andromeda, forgive us but this is of the fist importance. Tomorrow or the day after you can start discussing the trial. Arthur, Molly: get a place in the house ready. Alexander I want to have a word with you'.

            Everybody started getting ready to bring Harry to the house, and Lupin rose to follow Moody when Albus called him. 'Remus, stay here. There is a matter I need your opinion on'.  After a few moments only the three men remained in the room. Albus silenced the room and looked at the two younger men. Trivchikt was waiting calmly, but Remus looked about to explode. 

            'Alexander, I want you to hear this, because all health matters of the Order will be your province. Both of you will keep this conversation in the strictest confidence'.  

            'What in all heavens is going on Albus?'

            'Remus, I want you to sit down and try to calm yourself. What you are about to hear is a very disturbing matter concerning Harry and I need you to keep your wits about you'. Remus nodded and sat down. 'What can be worse than this?' He was still holding Harry's letter in his hand. 

            'Some days ago, after the latest Death Eater meeting, Severus reported that Bellatrix Lestrange claimed that Harry attempted to cast Cruciatus at her, and had a partial success. He thinks the claim is believable'. 

            'NO. That's impossible!!!!!! Harry would NEVER cast an Unforgivable!!!!!' Remus anger burst out at that point. 'The damned bastard!!! He deserves everything Sirius threw at him, and more. You can't accept this, Albus. He has spent five years trying to hurt and discredit Harry, and now this? He is lying, Albus. You can't believe that of Harry!!!'

            Trivchikt lifted his head sharply, but kept silent. 

            'Remus, stop. My first reaction was exactly the same, but Severus wasn't trying to put Harry in trouble. Not this time. He was very worried about it. If you find it necessary, I will ask Severus to store the memory in a pensieve for you to see. It is extremely unpleasant, but it can clear any doubts you might have regarding his report'

            'You can't… you can't mean you believe it?'

            'I don't want to, Remus, but I do believe Severus' report. He thinks Lestrange wasn't making it up, but he acknowledges that he has neither proof nor confirmation from other sources. What is certain is that Voldemort believed her, and was quite glad at this development. 

            Lupin had disbelief painted all over his face. Trivchikt chose that moment to speak softly 'Tell me, Albus. The boy is quite powerful, but not very trained. Is he? He had just witnessed the death of his Godfather, and was battling his killer, right? He has suffered interferences on his mind from Voldemort himself, interferences that lead to Sirius Black death, true? And all this after a year when he has had great difficulty in controlling his anger and frustrations?'

            'The answer is yes. To all of your questions, yes'.

            'Has he been subjected to Cruciatus before, either suffering or witnessing it?'

            'Again yes, to both'

            'Then you shouldn't be so surprised at this' 

            Remus stared at Trivchikt in open horror. 'Surely you don't mean…'

            'What I mean, Lupin, is that a powerful wizard that has been exposed to the Dark Arts, is experiencing a great stress, and wants to make somebody suffer is quite likely to resort to extreme measures and try to inflict pure pain. Cruciatus is a wonderful way to cause extreme pain, and you need to have either a very clear grasp of what the Dark Arts really are or a very strong conditioning to avoid resorting to it. Severus was telling me before that the average choice of teachers in charge of Defence Against the Dark Arts has been poor in the last years. And before you say anything, you weren't the worse on his list. Besides, the boy completely lacks a magical background, so the conditioning most young kids get against Dark curses is absent in his case'

            'Alexander, you shock me. You talk about teenagers casting Unforgivables as if it was a daily occurrence' said Dumbledore. 

            'Most teenagers lack the power to actually do it, but as Headmaster of a school you must have witnessed how cruel kids can be, or how they can lash out. Young people find it very difficult to contain their impulses. You have talked to me about Harry, so has Minerva McGonagall . I've had chats with Madam Pomfrey and of course I've got Severus' input as well and…'

            Lupin interrupted him. 'You can't believe anything Snape says about Harry. He loathes the boy and would say anything to get him in trouble'.

            Alexander Trivchikt sighed. 'I'm a qualified healer, Lupin, not just a freak with a healing touch. This is not the first time in my life that I have confronted problems such as this. I can read between the lines and I've learned not to take at face value anything relatives, friends or acquaintances tell me about people. Of course Severus' opinions of Harry are biased, but so are yours. He doesn't want to accept that he might have good qualities in him. _You don't want to believe he has bad ones. Neither is fully right nor wrong.'_

            'Now, I'm not saying that Harry is a torturer in the making, that he is evil and should be harshly punished for this or anything of the sort. I have never met the boy, but I'm quite eager to. By the way, hurry up. You want to catch with Moody and the rest of them to bring Harry here. It wouldn't do at all for him to find you absent. He is in trouble and what he needs is help.'

            Lupin shot him a look of pure confusion, but he rose. 'Of course I'm going. And afterwards I'm sure we'll be able to clear this misunderstanding. I refuse to believe that Harry, no matter how provoked, might have cast Cruciatus on anybody. James and Lily's son would never resort to the Dark Arts'. 

            With that he left the room, leaving a very troubled Dumbledore and a thoughtful Trivchikt alone.

            'That man is in for a nasty surprise, don't you think Albus?'

            'Yes. I'm very much afraid so. I haven't handled matters very well, have I?'

            'Albus, you can't expect to take the role of commander of an army, no matter how small, and the role of nurturing teacher both at the same time and expect to do both perfectly. Teenagers and war do not mix well, but it is happening and not your fault. Are you returning to Hogwarts tonight?'

            'Yes I am. There are a few matters I must attend to. I will see Harry in the morning. Are you coming with me?'

            'Yes, I am. And I would like to have a very long chat with you over dinner. There are too many things I still don't understand about this Order of yours'

            'Our Order, Alexander. You are a member now, aren't you?'

            Alexander smiled 'Our Order'

            The room was left empty.  

            Melissa Jooty: I have an outline of how I picture the evolution of the relationship between Severus and Dumbledore. What they needed to say to each other regarding Severus' student days was said long ago in my timeline. You shall see snippets of it in this fic, but I'm seriously considering making either a companion one-shot or short fic that will feature those crucial times around 1981. 

            Amber16:  This story won't revolve around romantic pairings at all (unless I change my mind rather radically). Any relationship that might evolve will be secondary to the story, but I'm afraid I've decided and if it happens will be adult male/adult male.  


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